He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
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