she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
