I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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