you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
