I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
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