i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
