did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
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