With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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