your room smells of hookers.
And success
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
