Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
