ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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