we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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