I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
The adults are the big ones right?
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize