I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
