Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
