So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I just googled if crying burns calories
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
