You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
