Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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