I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
We were destined to go to rehab together
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
This is my gift to your gina
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
