sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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