Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Randomize
