He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
people are starting to question the shark bite story
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Randomize
