I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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