I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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