Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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