well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
