you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
