we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
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my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
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We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
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