He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
There's a naked man in my car right now.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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