If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
