what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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