Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
