he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
