if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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