Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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