Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
