Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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