he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize