If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
