your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
