Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
