hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Randomize
