I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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