is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
