I can't watch pbs sober anymore
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
