You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
my poor anus
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
