These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
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