I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize