I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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