So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
