Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
