Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
