before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
