What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
only you would photoshop your dick
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Randomize
