She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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