if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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