I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
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