we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Randomize
