He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Girls should come with a carfax report
Green mimosas i think yes
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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