i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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