Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
