She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
