The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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