69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
